LYNN THINKING & WRITING

Two of the reasons I haven't been "blogging" so much is first:  Face Book.  It takes a lot of time, and you get instant gratification, sort of, to what you post.  It takes too MUCH time tho.  The 2nd reason is, it's been a hard year, and I didn't want to a "whiner" about it.  

So much has happened this year.  I have gone through a lot of different stages like Helen Kubler Ross says about DEATH & DIEING, and more to come, or maybe all over again.  I have just come to the "acceptance" sort-of, that I'm living with a man who has a terminal illness.  Also I have to deal what he is thinking.  And I don't tell him all that I know.


All sorts of things surprised and shocked me this year and some of them were:  He got pneumonis REALLY quick, was hospitalized and came home & was on oxygen for 2 more weeks.  After a brief period of wellness he then got sever shingles, and then pink-eye.  It has dawned on me.....finally....that I have to be greatful for the well times, and this is going to keep happening.  His white-cell "lymphocite" count continues to rise and crowd out the good while cells.  His immune system is crappy.  He is progressing in this disease.  

I was terrified for awhile, then accepted it, then got angry.  I was mad at him cause he can't do all the things he always has, and can't work in the workshop & make things, and build things like I always thought he would at this stage of our life.  It really made me mad. We just went on a long road-trip, 20 days, and he did the driving, thankfully.  But I did all the packing and most of the hauling in and out of stuff, and I have gradually been taking over more and more of stuff at home.  It both scares me and makes me mad.  This is not what I thought I signed up for.  But I did.  I said "for better or worse."  And I'm so very very thankful he is here.  I do everything in my power to make sure he is well, and ask all the questions of the doctors, and do the research on the internet to get more info.

So sometimes I feel AWFUl for being mad, and scared.....and thankful.  Stress.  Yes that's what it's been like.  So like I said.....it's dawning on me finally that this IS our life, and how it's going to be.  So I'm learning to be happy in our new "normal" and greatful that I am still healthy enough to be able to take over more, and do whatever he needs done.  We've spending a lot of time at the VA this year.  He just got checked out for a possible blod clot in his leg (negative).  Now he has to have CT scans to check out his lymph nodes.  No problem.  

So that's why I haven't been writing.  I'm learning a new chapter has begun in our life.  I think I have gone through most of the anger.  I love him dearly, and really really want him here as long as possible.  He is the other half of me.  I don't feel like I can exist without him.  Who loves me like he does?  The truth.....no one.   Don't pity me.  This is just what it is.  Every day people go through this and this is life.  It is what it IS.  

I'm still learning.......and I've always thought it's on on-going process forever.  I still think that.  Today is a good day.  I love that.  So, I will try to write more, and think more postive thoughts.......Such is life.

I'M STILL HERE

Gee, I haven't blogged in awhile. It was a wild & crazy summer. Dean was sick a lot. Pneumonia in April, then shingles in July, then foot fungus (yuck), then pink-eye in August. Now it's October. He's healed from everything except he still big purple spots where the shingles were, and one leg keeps swelling, and he has post-somethingorother neurological pain in his foot. And so it goes......

Brian came back from China, and is going again next month. In fact he will be gone for most of November his birthday month (40!!!!). But will be home for the holidays. What an education he is getting!

We went on our trip although we did not make it quite all the way. We went to OHIO to see John & Rachael (our oldest son), and the campus where John is getting his Masters in Fine Arts. 9th oldest public institution in the nation, and just a gorgeous town, and campus. They are in the foothills of the Appalachians, and so it's just so beautiful there.

Then went to N. Carolina to see youngest son James, whose wife is in the army at Ft. Bragg. Lexi, our grand daughter got sick same day we got there and we thought we'd have to stay in a hotel, but it was her appendix, and her 10th Birthday!!!!! She will never for it, and we got to stay and enjoy the the kiddos cause she was not contagious!! Shortly after we left Trixy was in a car accident, and rolled their van with Lexi and R. J. in it. Trixy was the most hurt, but they are all ok. And now we found out Trixy is being deployed in December to Afghanistan!!! :-( It will be hard for all of them.

Then we went to visit our Tampa friends Grady & Lyanne, and also some relatives in Spring Hill, Florida. We had a great time there-----but the weather was hot and muggy!!! Can't believe we lived there for 10 years. We did have a good time tho.

Then we went to visit my brother Rick & wife Deb in Gulfport, Mississippi. That was really fun. We even went to the casino one night. Didn't win or lose, just had fun. We were supposed to go on to Shreveport, but my niece and her daughter weren't feeling well, and we were EXHAUSTED as it was almost 20 days for us on the road! We did do it slow, staying in a hotel between each stop, even the short 8 hour ones, so we could just rest and lay down! Dean get better on the way, and we just had a great time-----except the last 2 days of driving home when were a little "snarly" at each other!

When we got home we were met by Sherri and the grandkids with birthday presents for me, and lots of hugs and kisses. That was the BEST!!!

So, now we are home, and guess who got sick? ME! Just sore throat cold thing, but glad it didn't happen on the trip. Now, I'm moving things around to paint albeit slowly. Finally going to get rid of this "foam green" that I loved when we moved in 10 years ago!!!

So that's it for now........Good Night Gracie......

What's Happening....

Brian has been in China for a whole week now. Sherri hears from him daily. He has been having some interesting experiences & FOOD!! He's eaten squid with the little suction cups on them, and fish with the eyes & whole heads on them. They served "snacks" at karaoke---chicken FEET!!! If it crawls, swim, moves and breathes---they eat it...ALL! Anyway, I know he'll have lots to to tell us when he comes back.

Sherri and kiddos are supposed to come for a few days this coming week, provided they are are all (mostly) well. Some of them have the sniffles, but that's acceptable. Today we all, except Caleb, went to see Harry Potter 6. I really enjoyed it, but the kids said there were "gaps" and stuff missing. I didn't read this far, so I really enjoyed it. Can't wait to see the 2-part ending next year.

Dean is having some work done on the foundation of our barn. It keeps shifting, because we didn't do it right the first time . I'm happy to say the weather just cooler----high 80's and low 90's. So much better than 100+ weather!!

I'm reading MY SISTER'S KEEPER, and can hardly put it down. I've read almost ALL of Jodi' Picoult's books now. Only a couple more to go. Recently I've been reading non-fiction about China (not b/c of Brian) but because I'm interested about the culture. Who knows, they may be in charge some day (of us).

We are planning some vacations for later this year. We are going on a road-trip to see the boys in different states this fall---and also to see some friends and relatives in Florida. Then in November we are going to Stormy Point in Branson for a week---with our Tampa friends. Can't wait for that! Next year we are planning a 2-week trip to Michigan to stay on a lake somewhere near Alpena, with the Karp's. And maybe some other small trips also. Who knows..... It's good to look forward to spending time with family & friends. Well, time to go. HOpe everyone is having a fab. weekend. Take care......

Good Night Gracie....

WHAT HAPPENED T HIS WEEK

JOHN is having some rehab on his finger/hand from when he broke it. Also he's anxious (as is Rachael) to move to Ohio in August.

SHERRI is happy that VBS is over for another year! The new (Mexican) Priest was not very appreciative of all she's done, and I'm not sure she will be back next year. Brian is currently in China, so we hope to see more of her and kiddos these next few weeks.

JAMES says his lawn business is not doing well at present. Trixy is home for a couple of weeks on vacation and is bored. She says she already has all the work done she wanted to do!!

DEAN just completed his Native American Head---and it looks darn good. He also made a very fancy spoon with a swan on the tip of the handle. Really REALLY good!! I'll take pictures and put them on later.

Noah has already had basketball camp this summer, and Noah is going to Science Camp soon. The girls just done doing VBS in the mornings, and Drama Camp in the afternoons. We went to their final Performance Friday night, and I know I'm prejudiced----but they were really good!! Of course to be fair, they have been performing on stage since they were toddlers, so they've had lots of practice!

For the rest of the summer we are all looking forward to some "down time" and swimming and reading etc...

We may go on a little road trip----but not til fall. And we are going to Stormy Point Resort later this fall with friends also. So good things to look forward to.

We played dominoes/poker tonight, and are now home, and nice & cozy in our A/C which is "jerry-rigged" to work until the part comes in. (thank you God for A/C!!)

Well that's it for tonight. Good Night Gracie.....(and you know who you are)...

HOT HOT HOT!!!!

We haven't A/C since July 4th. The guy was supposed to come today. Couldn't make it.

Maybe tomorrow??? We are melting, melting, melting..........................help........

4TH HIGHLIGHTS

Highlights today---4th of July, 2009

1. It rained (lovely).

2. Good food made my Karps.....

3. connecting with family & friends via phone.

4. Entertainment: listening to Noah sing and play piano. Arthur, Amazing Grace, and a few other songs. Listening to Noah play patriotic songs on piano, and then accompany himself by recording the song first on the piano---then playing the saxophone (with himself on piano).

5. Sewing repairs on Spiderman's suit (Caleb). Spending time with Spidey, and having important discussions with same.

6. Listening to Bekah read the Declaration of Independence with many interruptions for political discussion (kids & adults).

7. Watching Zorro (first Caleb----then Bekah) a real hoot.

8. Watching the girls sing and dance together --- and then Noah jumping in....

9. Family time around the table with all the Karp's....

10. Quiet time at home with Dean!!!

NOTE: not-so-good highlight-----A/C not working when we arrived home! :-(

MI LADY.....

This is "Mi Lady" a villager in Beauty & the Beast. Isn't she adorable?? :-)

We went to the library today to see "fairy tales" presented by the Karp Kiddos and their mom. Very good, and very funny. Rapunzel was my personal favorite!! I think there was a good 15-20 feet of looooooong hair!!!

Dean is sculpting. Also he has carved the head of an Indian girl. The master carver he carves with, said that Dean was better than 95% of first-time carvers! Quite a complement. You can look him up---Don Effinger on line, and see some of his carvings, including the Indian Girl that Dean is trying to imitate. His site is: thewildlifesculptor.com

Also, if you would like to see a multitude of pictures taken during the play, and the rehearsals, go to htpp://bb.birdco.net

There's tons of pictures, and if you click on the ones that have dates on them, you will see ALL the pictures taken on that particular date!!

So far we are enjoying the summer. For me----having Netflix, has made a big difference in my happiness! :-) We've had lots of kiddos already, the 4 Karps, and Nick (our oldest grandson, adopted), and have had lots of fun times with all of them. And lots more to come!!

I don't think we are doing anything special for the 4th. Last year we (& the Karps) went to see fireworks here on the Ridge, and that is a possibility. But I've heard it will be close to 100 that day, and that leaves me out of anything outdoors!

Brian is leaving for China soon, and that is exciting. Besides switching jobs, and going to China, he has almost completed bricking in their patio (with Noah's help)!

Well that's it for now....... Happy 4th of July Everyone!!! Let's celebrate our country's freedom while we still have it......